from cross dressing to gender roles

Talking about biblical translation is a tough thing.  I witnessed a sermon this weekend that explained the issue well, but that success only clarified for me the delicacy required in talking about the ancient original text and the way that it is translated into english- whether in the  way that it “should” be translated or not.

Bible translation is just hard; to capture in a single English phrase or word what an ancient language, that is built and functions so differently from our own, is trying to communicate, is nearly impossible.  Hence the neccesity of biblical scholarship; to fill in the rhetorical gaps & nuances that a flat English word may not portray. 

I get sad when we talk about “errors in translation.”  There have been, of course, over the years, times when translation teams have overlooked textual issues and selected a word that should have been selected differently.  But often, the “errors” that teachers talk about (you know,  you sould REALLY smart when you say there’s an “error” in translation) aren’t really errors at all, but simply nuances that we didn’t know we needed to read into a word.  And because God is God and generally pretty good at his job, he provides the Christian world with scholars to help explain these nuances.  Did God mess up when he let humans leave some holes in the text?  Probably not.  He probably assumed that these students of Scripture would do a great job of explaining those nuances, in a way that a single word in a text would not have been able to do. 

All of this to say that Deuteronomy 22:5 talks about women not dressing in men’s clothes.  Better translation of the Hebrew words for men’s clothing: “soldier’s armor.”  Hm.  Not so much about cross dressing… as much as proper roles in the Israelite social structure.  If you want a full textual explanation, just let me know.  I can pass it along!

Interesting, eh?  I learned that Sunday and I thought I’d pass it along.  It was explained sooo well, and I was glad to have heard about it.

blithely unaware

In Tolkein’s book, The Return of the King, he introduces a horrific character who foolishly & haphazardly runs the beautiful country of Gondor.  Nerd that I am, I’ve read and re-read this story so many times and hated him more and more with every read.  The Steward of Gondor, Denethor II, is truly a disgusting character.  In the movie, there is a scene in which Pippin has quite by accident landed himself as one of the Steward’s guards, and is required to entertain the Steward at dinner.  Pippin sings a lamenting and chilling melody about the darkness of war and the passing of a happy age, made concrete and terrifying by the sounds and images of war right outside of the city gates.

The Steward sloppily eats his extravagant dinner, both ignoring & unaware of the darkness looming near his glistening city, and the lives that will be lost by his blithe uncaring.

Sitting in church this morning, I couldn’t escape this melancholy image.  I identified with Denethor.

This morning, my pastor made reference to a recent blog post by Dallas Willard.  In it, Willard was referring to three kingdoms:  the kingdom of Heaven, the kingdom of Evil, and unfortunately, the kingdom that many of us reside in; a sort of middle non-existence in which we ignore the battle engulfing the world and instead fill our time with entertaining- but mindless- activities, TV shows, shallow relationships and stuff.  We pursue leisure and fleeting happiness.

I claim to believe that I cling to a God of Hope, who desires to give people meaning, purpose and a joy that sustains all hardships.  People walk in and out of my life living in fear, uncertainly, doubt and hopelessness and I continue to sloppily eat my extravagant dinner, pretending that darkness does not loom outside the door, and that I couldn’t change the course of history by simply engaging the world as it passes me by.

I’m looking to escape the Kingdom of Leisure and engage again.

windy

There’s something about the wind that makes me feel… loved.

I think I associate the movement of air- a breeze, wind, paper floating, trees moving, etc- with the presence of a person in my immediate environment. That’s science. A solid mass (a person, say) moves into a room, displaces air, causes a breeze, knocks over a book. Their movement is picked up by our senses almost before our mind acknowledges their existence. That movement of air registers as a presence entering our personal area.  It’s like a quantifiable sixth sense; the way that our bodies can sense an additional presence in a space.

So, the wind makes me feel… un-alone. It’s like a cosmic reminder of a unmistakable Presence in my life.

The Hebrew word for “wind” is רוח (ruah) which is also the term for “life” or “spirit,” and most often,  ruah refers to the Spirit of God.

Fitting, eh?

Remembering

I can forget about God.

Well, I’m sure that on some level I can’t, but I at least struggle with recognizing that my life is only possible because God makes it so.

And even saying that, I realize that I don’t understand the depth of that statement.

In the Old Testament, God repeatedly tells the Israelites to Remember. The word is used everywhere. He urges them to Remember their history and everything He’s done to save it. He urges them to Remember the rules He’s given them, the holy days He’s set aside, the things He’s said. Even the rules He’s asking them to follow seem to be set in place to help them Remember who He is and what He’s done.

These traditions and regulations are really foreign to the American mindset. To take a day and not work, or do anything else, to physically write scripture on our door posts, to eat flat bread (no, not pita bread), to light candles, to slaughter cattle… These traditions feel musty, outdated and extremely foreign.

And they are all of those things, but they also teach us that God knew we’d be bad at Remembering. From the beginning of his relationship with the church, he has put into place concrete reminders to help us be conscious of his presence in our lives. It is hard to forget your sinfulness when you have to butcher a cow to make up for it. It’s tough to forget that God saved you from slavery when He commands you to free your slaves every seven years. I doubt I’d forget the adventure of escaping Egypt when once a year I ate bread that tasted uniquely like the bread I had when I packed up to head into the desert.

God has freed me and you from following the traditions and regulations of the Jewish people, but I tend to be irresponsible and uncreative with that freedom.

How will we concretely Remember? I want to live like someone Remembering.

after seeing watchmen

To begin: Watchmen was a brilliant film.  Well put together, excellent casting & effects, strong story.  But to be honest, it’s just not my kind of movie. My qualms I suppose weren’t with the film as much as with the story; I wish stories didn’t have to detail so concretely the evil of the world to prove a point.  I wish that in more stories, good won, joy flooded the earth & justice ruled eternally.  Because, that is THE story.  It seems cheesy & hokey because strange people along the way have made it so, but when we’re totally honest with ourselves, that’s the desire of our heart.

To dwell in the darkness of finite evil is not intellectual or realistic; it’s short sighted. Often grotesque art and graphically violent films are awarded for their shocking realism.  But my argument is that those evil realities are only the truth of a small part of our experience.  The larger, more powerful story is a bright, wonderful story.  The truth about reality is redemption… It’s about good conquering evil.

When we love a movie where evil wins, I wonder if we’re simply enjoying the sweet rush of rebellion, or more innocently, the rush of going against the grain, of looking at things from a different angle. But therein lies our problem- we have misinterpreted what needs to be rebelled against. In our finite shortsightedness, we’re missing the truth- the truth of the inherent beauty of goodness, redemption and the story of love.

so it’s probably time.

I started this blog, admittedly, to share something. Wisdom, perhaps.  Maybe more like experience, or perspective.

But I think that writing here will be a path of discovery.  A way of enacting what I know in theory.  I believe so many things, know so many things, but by typing those letters, creating thoughts, arranging prose, I feel like I have some part in making those truths a concrete reality.  And the concreteness of truth is something that I’m all about.

Abstract ideas aside, I’m walking through what Christians tend to call a “dark” time.  No, I’m not questioning all of my beliefs or reevaluating or any of those other code words for “doubting,” but I don’t feel the life, the joy & the intensity of a life with Christ.  I’ve tasted the vigor of living for something, working toward something & being thrilled to live a day with purpose.

That purpose isn’t so tangible right now.  It’s not gone anywhere, it just feels so… abstract.

I want to re-engage forever.  I want the weight of eternity to make itself known in my words & in my life.

I want to write it down & make it real.

So here goes.